Everyone has an idea as to what they are looking for in a partner and everyone has expectations that are just unreasonable. Men and women are setting stands these days that cannot be met. I say this because everyone has baggage. You will not find one person in this world that has it all together. Nobody is perfect but you can find someone who is your idea of perfection if you find someone who pushes you to be the best version of yourself. You need an even playing field. You need to be able to motivate each other so you’re always pushing for more and moving forward in your life versus being stuck in the same place. Here are some key things to look for when searching for the person you hope to spend the rest of your life with.
Focus on relationships. Relationships with family and friends are the most important because these are the people that surround them the most. If you notice that this is a problem area, they probably have issues in social settings and most likely have an issue with expressing emotions. In some cases, you may stumble upon someone who stays away from their family because they have lead down a different path in life. For example, I personally do not have a connection with my family and I’m better off this way. My family consists of addicts and I have chosen to steer clear of that because it’s in my blood. Genetics play into who a person is and who they end up to be later on in life. I chose not to surround myself by that specific environment because I want better. I am a social butterfly and make friends wherever I go. Staying away from my family was the best decision for me. I don’t have to deal with all of the additional problems they create and I would say I have had much success in growing to be the person I am today because of that decision. In cases like this, I feel it’s appropriate to not focus on how their relationship is with family but instead, focus on the relationships they have built with others who are consistent in their life.
Ask yourself if this person makes you want to achieve more than what you’ve already accomplished. If the answer is no, you may not be right for each other. In my last article, I talked about change and how change is necessary to exist. Nothing remains the same. And while everything around us is constantly upgrading, we should be too. If you are with someone who doesn’t want to see the best for you then you should cut them loose and move on. You should never be complacent. You should want that promotion you’ve worked so hard for. You deserve everything you are working towards. Do not settle and limit yourself because you will later regret it and resent the other person for not allowing you to grow and for not supporting you on your mission. For example, your partner has settled at a dead end job that doesn’t have much room for advancing and you want to see them do better because you know they can. If you are trying to motivate them but they don’t do anything to change it, they are comfortable and they will most likely ride it out til they have no other option but to find something else. That’s not on you and if they blame you for their mishaps, do not take it personal. You did not tell them to settle. You tried your best to get them to see the bigger picture and now you see the bigger picture. It’s time for action. You’re either going to stick it out or you’re going to realize you deserve better.
Now is the time to ask yourself how this person treats you. Do they put you down and make you feel so small that you yourself have given up and reached the point of not caring anymore or do they make you feel like you are worth more than any diamond in the world? The answer should be more than diamonds and if you don’t feel that way, get the hell out of that relationship! There is no worse feeling than being stuck with someone who degrades you or never appreciates you for all that you do. There is no reason why anyone should have to deal with that. Man, woman, child. You should never feel like you’re not worth it.
We are all worthy of love. It’s just a matter of who you are compatible with. If they are responsible, treat you well, are honest, respectful, encouraging, you know they have your back undoubtedly and you are equally the same towards them, your chances at a successful relationship are very high. Red flags for me are men with an inconsistent job history, never apologize when they are wrong and blame you for their problems, are verbally or physically abusive, do not express their emotions, have a history of cheating or have addictions to drugs or pornography (in my eyes, if you are with someone, you shouldn’t have wandering eyes. Yes, you will see many attractive people in life but you should never compare them to the person you claim to love. Your body should be the only body they see naked. If your man is constantly on pornhub and taking care of himself, why does he even need you?) That’s just my personal opinion. You shouldn’t be a last resort. When you are sharing yourself with someone, it should only be with that person. Not fantasizing about someone else. Anyway, those are my tips on things to look for in a partner. There needs to be a good balance. Keep the romance alive and do things together that you both can enjoy. Without the romance, love can be lost. We all just want to settle down with someone who understands us and loves us for who we are so if you haven’t found that yet, keep looking. The love of your life may be in front of your eyes and you’re just not realizing it because it’s not what you were originally looking for.
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